Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Smoke experience


Once in front of the woodcutter’s house appeared a luxurious car. Perfectly dressed young man came out of this car and went to the house.

Father! – He addressed the woodcutter – haven’t you recognized me? It’s me, your son, whom you sent for tobacco to the town.

I settled there, graduated, found a great job, married beautiful woman, I have my own house, car …. What can you say?

It’s great, son. But where is my tobacco by the way?

Monday, May 21, 2007

Just carton of cigarettes!!

At school

The lesson of Biology.
The topic is “About hazard of smoking”. Teacher is telling why most of the people smoke cigarettes. She proposes a theory that the diameter of the cigarette is approximately similar to the diameter of nipple.
In other words, people simply recollect that time when they suckled maternal breast….

The rhetorical question is heard from the back desk:

What suckled people who smoke cigars?

The lesson was deranged!

Friday, May 11, 2007


After visiting London

Two guys begin to smoke.
Recently I was in London. You know what, such a clean city!
Yeah! I light up a cigarette, and then a local policeman comes to me and asks to put it out. I throw it away, he moves away, I begin to smoke the new cigarette. Then another cop approaches me: Put out your cigarette, please! I throw it away again and the story repeats.
And what next?
What-what!!! It turned out that there are 1684 cops in London!

Monday, May 7, 2007

West cigarettes - Test It!!

Visit to the doctor

The old man comes to the doctor and asks: “Doctor, will I live 20 years more?” – “Hmm…do you smoke cigarettes?” – “No, I don’t” – “Do you drink?” – “No!” – “Have any relationships with women?” – “No!” ‘”So, why the hell you need 20 years more to live?”]

Two fellows talk: “I’ve read a lot about the adverse effect of drinking and smoking cigarettes, so I decided to quit!”

“Quit? What exactly – to smoke or to drink?” – “To read!!!”