The Giant Cigarette Lighter

A guy walks into a bar, sits down next to another guy and immediately notices the guy has a very large Bic cigarette lighter.

The first guy says “Wow, that’s a huge lighter…where did you get it?”
The guy replies “A genie from this bottle granted me one wish.”

“Great, can I try it?”
“Sure.”

The first guy rubs the bottle and the genie appears. “You are granted one wish” says the genie.

The guy says, “I want a million bucks!”
“Done” says the genie and disappears.

CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle.

A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter. She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?

He answers, " You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's sooooooooooo much cheaper.

So, I figure if I have to roll my own . so does she.

Twin Cigarette Lighter Adapter with USB Port

Ever needed to plug in your mobile car charger, Bluetooth headset car charger or portable CD player at the same time?

Well the Twin Cigarette Lighter Adapter with USB Port from Mobile Fun provides the solution.

It simply plugs into your existing cigarette lighter socket and splits it into two standard sockets and one USB charging socket, giving you the freedom to plug in two car chargers and a USB charger.

Features

• 1.7 metre extension cable to position the adapter in the most convenient position.
• Supports 12 & 24 volt power supplies.

Humans love their cigarettes

Why...

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

If you can't drink and drive, why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?

Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?

If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

Party Monster

Which cigarettes did Manson choose?

During the production of Party Monster, Marilyn Manson asked former child star Macaulay Culkin for a bit of advice.

"His character smoked and he didn't know how to smoke," Culkin recalled.

"Never smoked a day in his life... He had a very specific vision of what kind of cigarettes he wanted, so he wanted me, the avid smoker, to go to the store and help him out."

So which cigarettes did Manson choose? Virginia Slims of course

Cigarettes Illusions

What cigarettes do you smoke?

- John, what cigarettes do you smoke?
- Light!
- You are such strong and you don’t have normal cigarettes? I am very surprised.

Shop in supermarket

Real Men Smoke

Stack of cigarettes

French and the Englishman are sitting on the bank of a river and fishing.

All of a sudden rain, and rain poured soaked them to the threads.

They decided to warm. Englishman reached stack of cigarettes are all completely wet.

A Frenchman, bemused, reached dry cigarettes from the condom.

The Englishman, delighted idea is ticking in the pharmacy:
- Could you help me, please. I need a condom!
- For men or for women?
- For "Camel"!
- Oh!!! Sex Giant!

Anecdote heard on television, like, retelling:

Worth man on the street smoking.
Suitable to the girl said: “Hello, we have a poll on smoking. How long have you been smoking?
Yes, Silva, 30 years already chosen.
Female-Yes, it is interesting, interesting, ah what the health hazards... A number of smoking cigarettes a day?
Forty-Hmmm, stack 2 a day
Female - Yap, yap interesting. Take calculator, something it considers that said, you know, that if you are not smoking, the money saved could buy this skyscraper?
Forty - Here you smoke?
Female - No.
Forty-A skyscraper you have?
Female – Hee, hee, hee. No:)
Forty-But I smoke and skyscraper this MY!

Thug Cigarettes

....put out the cigarettes!!

A young couple is flying on a plain:
-Oh, common!
-We can’t do it here.
-I cannot hold any longer…
-Well, let’s go to the WC…
(They lock up in the WC)
-Common, put the condom on… oh-oh-oh! What a rush…
Suddenly there is an announcement on the speaker:
-Mister and Misses Smith! We know what you are doing in the WC. Please, put out the cigarettes and remove the condom off the fire alarm!!!

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Hand me your cigarette.

Cigarette Thru Quarter - Spring

Good Ideas

The owner of tobacco store in San Francisco got nervous: his competitor attracted lot’s of buyers, taking a beautiful Spanish girl into the service.

He placed her at the shop window to roll cigars and to fling her eyes over men, who visited the store.

State of affairs had to be improved immediately. So, the store-owner did the following: in two days at the shop window of his store buyers saw a slim blonde girl in bikini, rolling cigars.

But she sat back to the buyers. His store filled up with men at once.