The Giant Cigarette Lighter

A guy walks into a bar, sits down next to another guy and immediately notices the guy has a very large Bic cigarette lighter.

The first guy says “Wow, that’s a huge lighter…where did you get it?”
The guy replies “A genie from this bottle granted me one wish.”

“Great, can I try it?”
“Sure.”

The first guy rubs the bottle and the genie appears. “You are granted one wish” says the genie.

The guy says, “I want a million bucks!”
“Done” says the genie and disappears.

CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle.

A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter. She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?

He answers, " You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's sooooooooooo much cheaper.

So, I figure if I have to roll my own . so does she.

Twin Cigarette Lighter Adapter with USB Port

Ever needed to plug in your mobile car charger, Bluetooth headset car charger or portable CD player at the same time?

Well the Twin Cigarette Lighter Adapter with USB Port from Mobile Fun provides the solution.

It simply plugs into your existing cigarette lighter socket and splits it into two standard sockets and one USB charging socket, giving you the freedom to plug in two car chargers and a USB charger.

Features

• 1.7 metre extension cable to position the adapter in the most convenient position.
• Supports 12 & 24 volt power supplies.

Humans love their cigarettes

Why...

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

If you can't drink and drive, why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?

Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?

If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

Cigarettes

Cigarettes machine

A man and a woman are in a hotel and are about to have sex. They already have all of their clothes off and are in the bed when the woman says, "I want a pack of cigarettes."

The man says, "You want a pack of cigarettes... before?" She says, "Ya, I`ll concentrate better if I have a smoke."

The man says, "OK," and goes to get a pack of cigarettes. He doesn`t think to get dressed because it is so late. He goes to the cigarette machine and decides to buy two packs just in case.

He starts heading back to His room when he sees three nuns. He poses as a statue and hopes they'll pass by.

The nuns come over to him and since they had never seen a naked man they thought he was a vending machine. The first nun searches for the trigger mechanism and pulls His johnson.

Startled, he drops a pack of cigarettes. The second nun does the same and he drops the other pack of cigarettes. When the third nun executes the maneuver she says, "Look girls it has lotion, too!"