Shop in supermarket

Real Men Smoke

Stack of cigarettes

French and the Englishman are sitting on the bank of a river and fishing.

All of a sudden rain, and rain poured soaked them to the threads.

They decided to warm. Englishman reached stack of cigarettes are all completely wet.

A Frenchman, bemused, reached dry cigarettes from the condom.

The Englishman, delighted idea is ticking in the pharmacy:
- Could you help me, please. I need a condom!
- For men or for women?
- For "Camel"!
- Oh!!! Sex Giant!

Blue Smoke

Anecdote heard on television, like, retelling:

Worth man on the street smoking.
Suitable to the girl said: “Hello, we have a poll on smoking. How long have you been smoking?
Yes, Silva, 30 years already chosen.
Female-Yes, it is interesting, interesting, ah what the health hazards... A number of smoking cigarettes a day?
Forty-Hmmm, stack 2 a day
Female - Yap, yap interesting. Take calculator, something it considers that said, you know, that if you are not smoking, the money saved could buy this skyscraper?
Forty - Here you smoke?
Female - No.
Forty-A skyscraper you have?
Female – Hee, hee, hee. No:)
Forty-But I smoke and skyscraper this MY!

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Hand me your cigarette.

In the elevator

One day, the company of young people came together to celebrate the Holiday.
They got on the elevator.
As they were a lot, the elevator stuck.
Everybody was waiting when they would be released.
One guy said: Hey, we have no choice but to smoke cigarettes and wham bam….
The girl from the company answers: Guys, just don’t smoke, ok?

Cigarette Thru Quarter - Spring

Good Ideas

The owner of tobacco store in San Francisco got nervous: his competitor attracted lot’s of buyers, taking a beautiful Spanish girl into the service.

He placed her at the shop window to roll cigars and to fling her eyes over men, who visited the store.

State of affairs had to be improved immediately. So, the store-owner did the following: in two days at the shop window of his store buyers saw a slim blonde girl in bikini, rolling cigars.

But she sat back to the buyers. His store filled up with men at once.

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Wise patient

Just look how your complexion has changed!
And you look much better now! I advised you to smoke one cigarette only after meal-time.
Yeah, sure! Because I eat ten times a day!

Just carton of cigarettes!!

At school

The lesson of Biology.
The topic is “About hazard of smoking”. Teacher is telling why most of the people smoke cigarettes. She proposes a theory that the diameter of the cigarette is approximately similar to the diameter of nipple.
In other words, people simply recollect that time when they suckled maternal breast….

The rhetorical question is heard from the back desk:

What suckled people who smoke cigars?

The lesson was deranged!

Smoke

After visiting London

Two guys begin to smoke.
Recently I was in London. You know what, such a clean city!
Really?
Yeah! I light up a cigarette, and then a local policeman comes to me and asks to put it out. I throw it away, he moves away, I begin to smoke the new cigarette. Then another cop approaches me: Put out your cigarette, please! I throw it away again and the story repeats.
And what next?
What-what!!! It turned out that there are 1684 cops in London!

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Visit to the doctor

The old man comes to the doctor and asks: “Doctor, will I live 20 years more?” – “Hmm…do you smoke cigarettes?” – “No, I don’t” – “Do you drink?” – “No!” – “Have any relationships with women?” – “No!” ‘”So, why the hell you need 20 years more to live?”]

Two fellows talk: “I’ve read a lot about the adverse effect of drinking and smoking cigarettes, so I decided to quit!”

“Quit? What exactly – to smoke or to drink?” – “To read!!!”

Cigarettes